Ubicarse (oo bee car say) is a Spanish reflexive verb meaning to be located, to be found, to position oneself. For me it has been the journey to find myself. There have been so many landscapes and vistas on this journey. So many hearts touching, so many paths crossing. I am so grateful that we are on our way home to our hearts.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Leaving Ubicarse and Moving into the Liquid Lovelight!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Mary Essence Coming Through
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Pluto Pushing Through to End 2011 with a Sigh of Satisfaction
Pluto brings aspects of our Selves which have been buried, neglected, or ignored lately (or for some of us, for a very long time) to the surface and shines a bright light on them. Whew, that can’t be easy. At this time, you have to KNOW, not just believe, but KNOW WHO YOU ARE ... because everything you “thought” you knew about these deeper places within -is in question.
Remember, breakdowns always precede breakthroughs!! And this time is for real - half way won’t cut it and the Universe will do EVERYTHING to prevent you from half-steppin’ in any way, shape or form. You must REPAIR or RELEASE and move on.
I am seeing this happening within and around me. I am feeling that Knowingness emerge more clearly of who I am. I am ready to step into the expansion of me with the support of the new energies. Releasing the smallness of me and knowing that it is time to step out into the world in a much bigger way. I see loved ones sensing the expansion and pulling back into places of comfort. I see the discomfort that this brings as the soul yearns to move. I am reminded to be the compassionate observer and to honor the holiness of each one's choice.
I have been stationary for the past two months, sharing my son's apartment after my daughter moved out. I have had the pleasure of a dresser (my craving after living out of my trunk for so long) and a space to be and create in. Now, we are packing up and releasing stuff once again. My son is looking to live in a new part of the city in a new mix and I am being called to flow once again and head to Kauai for a time in January. I bought a return ticket to this city but have no place to land, no plans ahead. I am assured by Spirit that is intentional as I am to be fluid once more. As a reminder, a friend from Hawaii called and expressed how fortunate I was to be free by having no home base. She pointed out that her house is an anchor as well as a hearth. It keeps her tethered to place. Thank you for that perspective! It is all about how we look at things, isn't it? I know so many who are tied to a spot as their houses are worth less than the amount that they still owe the bank. Yes, I am glad to be free to move about as my higher self dictates.
The releasing of stuff is once again going deep into that survival instinct......will I have a home? Will I be ok? Will I have enough? Will I have to gather all this stuff once again? It has felt uncomfortable to feel all of this and allow it to move through. To center myself and breathe deeply into the truth of my security.......deep in my heart where I connect to the Creator.
The move has been perfectly orchestrated at this time of Pluto, for my growth. I am so grateful for the ways that I am supported. The abundance that is still there (thank you to me and spirit for setting it up!), the friends who support me by offering a room and encouragement, the folks who reflect to me who I am, helping me to see myself more clearly, the ascended masters and archangels who guide and protect me, the earth who fills me with love as well as my Mother/Father God who rains down that liquid lovelight that I am so very fond of! How blessed I am.Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Uncoiling the Old, Infilling with the Gold
Emotional release is exhausting work! I then had a dinner to prepare and I felt like a damp towel, all wrung out. I suggested we call it off but my younger son felt it would be fun and said he was up to do what was needed. It came together and was a nice evening though I felt low key and a bit off balance. It was what it was, and I let it be that.
Christmas day was quiet, no gifts, no big meal, no one but my son and I. We enjoyed our tiny tree and a walk in the crisp air and the ease of leftovers in the fridge. Peace filled day. I took a nap on the couch by the tree and lights and found myself in that dream, not awake but not asleep state. I recall trying to open my eyes and move my body, but I could do neither. I was at the Great Central Sun and I saw and felt how huge my being was. I found it delightful to recognize others by their light even though all the light looked the same. Yet, there was a knowing of one another's vibration. I was weaving light strands and knew I was a master at it. I was smiling at how I knew that I would never forget who I was and yet how I had in this lifetime. I saw the dearness of myself in this incarnation and felt amazed at the smallness of my life compared to the vastness of my being. That made me laugh! I knew that the time of expansion was upon me and that I was to bring that energy of that vastness through in this body. I did not want to awake and come back, it seemed too heavy a task. I wanted to bask in the light of home. Yet, I knew that was the mission, to bring the light of love and anchor here on this earth plane. It was the Christmas gift from home that I had been looking for. To feel the knowing once again and soak in the essence of the Creator once more. I felt refueled.
Today, what would have been my 29th wedding anniversary brought up the loss of expressing the love that had created my marriage. My former husband and I had not been in communication for quite some time. My daughter had skyped from Montreal where she was spending the holiday with her boyfriend and his family. I watched as those feelings of loss came up of the intact family, the family home with the big tree and trimmings...all that I had left behind 5 years ago. Sobs, about 30 seconds worth as it seems the emotions move through so quickly these days. As it happened (Spirit has such a way with timing), my former husband had emailed about a desire to get together a couple of weeks back. A couple of suggested times did not work out so I suggested today for old times' sake. I had felt it was important to meet before the end of the year. He agreed and we met for lunch. We sat at the table and held hands and simply looked in one another's eyes for a few minutes. Huge event as for the last few years of our marriage, he could not look me in the eye to speak as he was leading a double life though I did not know it. There has been much pain and heartache over the years. Yet, here we were, looking at one another until the tears came. There was simply the love. We had both played our parts well. His role was the darker one and it was the catalyst to my discovering my own beauty and worth. It was so wonderful to acknowledge the love that was, is and will be. It is a stream that began eons ago and flows always to the Creator's heart. All love continues as our souls know the truth. We ate and then walked and I felt joy filled. My impish sprite came out to play and we joked and teased even! He asked if I now understood why he had sent me a photo of myself taken when I was about 8 years old. He said that he had always loved that photo as he felt it captured a pure expression of energy and goodness and he could see that same look in my eyes today. Such a relief to see the barriers fall, to see him inhabiting his body once again and witness the clearing work that he has done to open his heart. Our hearts ever wish for happiness for all those we have loved and love still.
As I walked home, I felt like skipping just as I did as a child on my way home from confession on Saturday mornings, (a rite of Catholic children to cleanse our souls for the receiving of communion at Sunday morning mass). Free, so free! I felt my angels and guides clapping and laughing in delight that I had passed this test. I was love and I held to that reality and shone it through this relationship. We had come back to love once again. Oh, the joy! I asked my son to take my photo when I returned home to record the joy that I was feeling. I love all the ways that the universe has conspired to trigger the old coils of pain, of fear, of victimhood, of playing small, of heartache, of misunderstanding in order for them to be unwound. I have spent tonight in meditation and invocation, calling in the Christ light to infill me with its Golden hue. We are being rebirthed into our true selves as we take our places on this planet as the true ones. We are holding the portals open wide for all to pass through with our mother as she ascends to her starry birthright. I am feeling my starry nature tonight and see all your shining lights so bright. Let your heart lights shine......there is only the love. Embrace it. I embrace you in my heart.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Happy Solstice!
What does that mean? God is alien? I spotted this sign as I was walking back from the park today. I read it as, God is an alien. That made me chuckle as I took it to mean He/She is from outer space, from the stars just like the rest of us are. It is only now as I read it once again that I see it is saying that God is alien.....alien to whom? Webster's dictionary says that it is something belonging or relating to another person, place or thing. Something foreign. I like the hearts that the person drew as well as the small halo above the I. I am affirming that God is not alien to me as I am a part of Her/Him. No one or thing is alien to us. Indeed, I had just had the experience of toning and chanting in the park as my friend channeled Spirit. We were weaving a tapestry with my sounds and his words to flow universal love energies across North America. God's heart was very present as was Gaia's as she shimmered and tingled up my legs to meet in my heart with my Mother/Father God's energies. I laughed that we fit right in at Dolores Park which is filled with folks all pursuing their own version of delight. I was twirling and swaying with the sounds that moved through me, my friend was speaking and chanting in a deep loud voice as groups played about us. I love the freedom from the constraints of the ego. It is wonderful to not worry about how anyone views anything that I do. It does not matter any longer, only that I honor myself by following the promptings of my own I AM presence.
Later on my walk, I saw this beautiful camellia in bloom. I loved her pink passion expressing itself as swirling skirts spinning about her. I loved that she rose above the confines of the iron fence spikes. The rigidness of the old that we are all now rising above. I feel just like her, so happy to be dancing free. Who knew that once you let go of all that you knew, there would be such freedom?! I am astounded by it. It is as if I have discovered universes inside myself. Vast galaxies of space that I am free to dance in with colors not yet imagined.
Then I passed a car with this little flower on its dashboard, dancing about. I do not know how it was activated but it was merrily grooving along inside the car. I laughed out loud at its silliness and cuteness. So cheerful and colorful, dancing her beauty even though no one was there to see.....oh, except me! She was dancing for me. I love how when we begin to dance with life, life begins to dance for us! I had started the day by spinning 33 times around. I had watched some utube that someone had posted on facebook saying that it helped to spin your chakras. I figured it was worth a try as it appealed to my sense of play. I like my spiritual growth experiences to be fun! I felt a bit nauseous by the end but quickly regained my equilibrium. I feel that was symbolic of how we are being tested to see if we can hold to our centers as chaos whirls about us. Deep breath and dropping into my heart brings me back to myself.
The sun set early on this the longest night of the year and my body is ready for bed. I am still assimilating all the beautiful gifts of energy that have streamed in today. I feel a bit drunk on the lovelight. A friend was here and said that Hilarion ( the ascended master of healing and truth) wanted to speak. I recalled that Hilarion had spoken to me last year at Christmas time and he had decorated me as the tree of truth. He had hung ornaments all over me. I wondered if he was coming to decorate me once again. Indeed he said that my ornaments were lovely! He also congratulated us on our work today with Gaia and commented on our purple robes of regality. I am feeling quite comfortable in my robes tonight. I am owning my own mastery in a deeper way. I love that I get to sing and dance and tone my gifts to the earth. What a great role I chose for myself! Thank you for the roles you each play and the gifts that you bring. Each of us is so essential to co-creating this new earth of ours. Can you feel it? Begin by delighting in your own beauty, I am delighting in it!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
A Clarion Call from Gaia
The fun truly begins! It will never be so dark and difficult again. We can all heave a sigh of relief, the worst has passed. The depths of darkness will not be as deep as the entire planet has upped her frequency. Tonight, Gaia channeled through me as I mentioned to my friend that I could feel her energy pouring up me, moving from my feet up to my heart. She was so excited about all the clearing that I have done that allowed her to move so freely and swiftly and the clearing that has happened all over her beautiful surface. Oh, the elementals are dancing in joy also. Truly it is celebration time. We have this holiday season to soak in the energies of love. To find peace with all of our relations. To find peace in our hearts with all that we have lived and experienced. To pluck the nuggets of grace from our past and see all the rest in the gentle hue of gratitude for the lessons learned and the wisdom gathered. What a beautiful time to be alive. The solstice is almost upon us and tonight Gaia sounded a clarion call through my voice (she can be LOUD!) and gave me directions on where and what to do to anchor the solstice energies in, here in San Francisco. She is sounding the call for all to awaken. It is a great trumpeting as the portal is opened on the solstice to carry us through to the new timeline of the magic of 2012. Many are yet asleep and so the need to shout it out...awaken! Arise to your own beauty and light. Arise to the truth of who you are and begin to live it. We are one. We are our brother's keepers as we are our brother. Shake off the shackles of this 3D matrix that limits our freedom. We are creator beings, not sheep any longer. Gaia calls out to everyone to stand up and be the light that you are. She is ascending and wishes all of us to come with her. As a mother, I can relate to that desire for all of your children to have the joy and happiness that is there for the taking. She does not want anyone to suffer any longer. She desires all to experience joy and bliss. Yes, bliss and ecstasy are on the table as our base level of feeling. It is true!
Choose your direction. All paths are viable. You can choose to stay in duality and you are even free to continue to struggle. You can choose freedom and dance in the love. You can feel separate or you can know the unity of all. It is all here for us. Your soul is making a choice, is standing at the threshold of 2012. What you choose now will set the energies for what reality you exist in this coming year. Choose well. State your intention, call upon the myriad of angels and guides that surround you. There is so much love and support here for each one of us. Go inside and connect to it all. It is truly delicious!
Friday, December 16, 2011
Loving Our New Maturity
While we were at the store, we collected some boxes for our move at the end of the month. I am so proud of my son that he is on board with the new energies. We have no place to move to as yet but we know the time in this apartment is up. He has lived here for over a year with my daughter, she moved out at the end of Oct and I moved in. I have loved having a dresser rather than my car's trunk to live out of. I feel that nomad time of my life is complete for now as is this couple of months in San Francisco. So, we gather boxes and will pack things up and see what the universe has in store for us. We feel such joy about it all and believe that ease and grace will light the way. We are open to the highest path for each of us. This new maturity that I see in myself and in those around me, delights me! Aren't we wonderful? We are trusting, we are letting go, we are allowing. We know our place is there waiting for us and divine timing is perfect. The old way of figuring it all out and having everything set before making a move, is over. The new flow that carries us down the stream is so much nicer! Ahhh, we can relax and float.
Another lovely part of the day was Gabriel's recounting of his morning painting experience. He takes his easel and paints outdoors near his studio. He did a beautiful painting and had many comments from passersby. An older couple stopped and watched him at work for quite some time. They complimented him on the painting and then the woman said, "Thank you for doing this." Wow! That is a comment of the new earth. A world where each one can offer their gifts and they are seen and acknowledged for their contribution. Wow! Just a couple of days before my son had watched the thought come in, "I need to get a real job". It has only been 3 months since he has taken the leap from the cubicle corporate world to the land of being a full time artist. Fear raises its head occasionally to see how committed one is to his path. I have certainly experienced my fair share of those visits. Yet here was the universe sending a very clear message that he is doing his work and it is appreciated! I love this. I love the woman who took the time to tell Gabriel this. This is the new way, sharing the love and supporting one another. More and more folks are turning on their heart lights and letting the love shine through. I love this world that we are all creating! Thank you for your part in this creation. Sing your note, the one that is yours and yours alone to sing.